December 2008
Dear '08,
you went by so fucking fast it seriously blows my mind. It feels like yesterday I was making a complete ass of myself and being my usual too drunk, too horny, obnoxious self on January 1st. I was single and partying hard was my weekly routine. Lots of sex, more booze, and WAY more weed. A frat house was practically my second home.
Now its my last day with you and nothing is the same. My weekends...
the thing that bothers me most
is when you put your faith into someone, and they completely disappoint you.
The only person I can ever rely on 100% is Asia. She never fucks me over, and for that I love her forever. Everybody else always seems to suck in some fucking way.
I’m pretty sure I have the best boyfriend in the world.
I don’t deserve him at all.
I will never understand how I got so lucky.
I guess somebody has to love me, I’m just so glad its him.
“crazy for you”- Adele
I can’t...
free-enterprise:
e⋅lope
–verb (used without object), e⋅loped, e⋅lop⋅ing.
1. to run off secretly to be married, usually without the consent or knowledge of one’s parents. 2. to run away with a lover. 3. to leave without permission or notification; escape.
this is how i’ve always wanted to do it. no fancy gowns and tuxedos, no weeping relatives, no bridesmaids, no limos. just me and the...
http://postsecret.blogspot.com/ →
this made me depressed.
some shit is just TOO real
“Girls can wear jeans
And cut their hair short
Wear shirts and boots...”
– Madonna
(some of the most honest lyrics ever sung)
I have two finals today, but for some reason I feel better today than I have in the last week.
I have no idea why I feel so good, but when shit is going good for me I tend not to ask questions.
(maybe happiness does have a place on this blog afterall.)
I’m so goddam sick of myself. Its fucking impossible for me to be happy with myself physically. Then I feel like a some 14 year old brat for still be so fucking insecure. I find something wrong with myself everyday. Then I feel like shit. Then I want to do more drugs. Such is life.
detox
vomiting painkillers is not fun.
no more drugs this week.
i continue to be a cautionary tale.
my saturday night
more weed and more painkillers.
at least i was with asia this time.
my friday night
weed and vicodin.
I know I misbehaved And you made your mistakes And we both still got room left to grow And though love sometimes hurts I still put you first And we’ll make this thing work But I think we should take it slow
a cautionary tale.
Sometimes I have no idea what I’m feeling. I think I’m sad then I realize that nothing happened to make me sad… so that’s not it. I think I just get temporarily depressed when I’m not stimulated or entertained. Even though I’m like 10000x way more chill now than I used to be, theres a part of me that NEEDS just a taste of the excitement that my life had a few...
eno eht
The epitome of a lover and a friend.
Makes the highs higher and the lows a lot less frequent.
maryjane.
Today will be the first day in well over a year that I intentionally didn’t get high. I smoke weed every day, and if for some reason I don’t get high its usually because of some unfortunate series of events. I decided that maybe the reason why I completley stopped giving a shit about everything is the excessive amount of THC I abuse daily. They say weed takes away your motivation so...
I’m not good at being vulnerable.